If Warrior Cats Had Phones
by gisnep13
Summary: ...would life ever be the same? Watch as Clan Meetings are held in group chats, Star Clan has a little fun with their newfound technology, cats become Internet sensations and more in this lighthearted comedy!
1. Clan Meeting (Gone Wrong!)

**(If you have any story ideas, please share them; I'll credit you! Don't be afraid to make a review :3 ****In order for this to count as a story, I had to include a story in this chapter. Read on for Clan Meeting Gone Wrong! tell me if it was funny****)**

LEADER:

Cottonstar; pale white tom-cat with almond brown eyes

(no one ever listens to him)

DEPUTY:

Hawkeye; striped brown tom with fern green eyes

(a strong warrior who tries his best to be patient with his clan...)

MEDICINE CAT:

Sagethroat; pale gray she-cat with baby blue eyes

(does she _really _know what she's doing?)

WARRIORS:

Dappleheart; dark brown tom with sharp yellow eyes

(DON'T MAKE HIM ANGRY)

Dawnfire; yellow she-cat with soft brown eyes

(she thinks she's pretty...she's right)

Beaverfang; black tom-cat with brown speckles and green eyes

(is he even a Thunderclan cat?!)

Mothflight; gray she-cat with white stripes and dark blue eyes

(might be the only normal cat in this clan)

APPRENTICES:

Willowpaw; brown tom with entrancing green eyes

(likes to pick fights)

Thistlepaw; pale brown she-cat with green eyes

(sister of Willowpaw; just as troublesome)

Sootpaw; jet black tomcat with brown eyes

(wants to leave the clan and become an internet sensation)

Silverpaw; gray she-cat with green eyes

(accidentally got on Youtube)

QUEENS:

Rabbitleap; white she-cat with beautiful blue eyes

(does she even pay attention to her kits?)

Softpool; scraggly brown she-cat with yellow eyes

(everyone thinks she's crazy)

Fartcloud; gray she-cat with foggy green eyes

(um...who the heck named her?)

ELDERS:

Squirrelthroat; chestnut brown tom with blue eyes

(tries to get rid of technology in Thunderclan; no one lets him)

Mushroomflank; an orange cat with pale green eyes

(tries to use technology; fails)

Almondstripe; a light brown cat with amber eyes

(overly afraid of Twolegs)

**In order for this to count as a story, I have to include this in the chapter:**

**THE CLAN MEETING (GONE WRONG!)**

"Alright, cats, clan meeting! Right now! C'mon everyone, gather around!"

Cottonstar's loud bellow alerted every cat of his message. They tore away from their phones and began to approach his pale white silhouette agonizingly. They were being interrupted from their Fortnite game. They always played Fortnite together in the afternoon!

As they moved nearer, deputy Hawkeye whispered to his leader, "You'll have to explain yourself. They were really getting attached to those Clan Meeting group chats. They don't like doing anything that doesn't involve their phones anymore."

"I know, I know!" Cottonstar said grouchily. "What, they can't get off their dang cell phones for half a minute?!"

Hawkeye glanced at the crowd of cats gathering. Most of them still had their eyes glued to their phone screen, continuing their Battle Royal as they padded over. "You have a point."

"Um, Cottonstar," Willowpaw interrupted, settling at his leader's feet. "I thought we were doing Clan Meetings on group chats now. Remember how we wanted to be just as advanced as the other three clans are?"

"Yes, yes, I was getting to that," Cottonstar said sharply. He addressed the whole clan, "Many of you are wondering why we are gathered here today when we usually do group chat Clan meetings. Well, that is because I have officially decided to end those group chat meetings. For good."

Exclamations of protest erupted from the clan.

"Whaaaat?" croaked Mushroomflank. "Dang it! And I was finally getting that texting thing down."

"Yeah. Finally upped his texting speed from one word per hour to two!" scoffed Thistlepaw.

"Thank Star Clan!" Squirrelthroat said happily. "Finally, maybe we can get over this stupid technology phase and go back to the way Warrior cats are supposed to be."

"And how are Warrior cats supposed to be? Old-fashioned felines that hunt for their own prey and use their nose to identify where they are?" said Sootpaw. "Hello-o, it's the 21st century! We have pizza delivery and Google Maps now! Get with the program."

"Oh come on, Sootpaw, Cottonstar has a point!" Mothflight said. "You should just look at yourselves on those chats. You guys are menaces!"

"Whenever I say a word you spam the chat…" growled Cottonstar.

"You crowd the space with what you call 'dank memes,'" said Hawkeye.

"And you always make fun of my name!" complained Fartcloud.

The apprentices snickered.

"Yeah, so what if we do that?" Dawnfire said with a yawn. "These clan meetings are boring, with a capital B. At least the chat makes stuff interesting."

"And gives you a reason to show us every single picture you take of yourself!" Rabbitleap said angrily. "Girl, we do _not_ need to see how you groom your fur every single day."

"At least I pay attention to my looks," Dawnfire countered, her eyes narrowing. "You, on the other hand, look like a dead mouse. _Every single day_." she mocked.

"That's it! I'm officially unfollowing you on Facebook."

"No, no, Rabbitleap dear, don't do that!" Dawnfire exclaimed. "It would tarnish my reputation! And I'm only a few followers away from a thousand."

"They all must be airheads to follow you," muttered Dappleheart.

"Oooh! You take that back!" Dawnfire said, her fur ruffling. "Really, sometimes you cats make me want to scream."

"We could say the same about you…" murmured Sagethroat.

"How dare you! Oh, Cottonstar, do something!" Dawnfire said, glaring at the cats around her.

"That's what I'm trying to do!" he snapped back. "Now. I don't see any reason why we should _keep_ the chat…"

"Ooo! Look! A new post on Instagram!" Silverpaw suddenly exclaimed.

Everyone immediately whipped out their phones.

"Awww! That new Windclan kit is so cute!" cooed Almondstripe.

"Those fern green eyes."

"And fuzzy button nose!"

"Um, hello-o?" Cottonstar said irritably. "Guys? Are you even listening to me?!"

"Hey, look! A new dank meme!" Thistlepaw giggled.

Fartcloud suddenly screamed angrily, and the apprentices burst into peals of laughter.

Cottonstar growled. He seemed about ready to explode.

"What would our ancestors think of us now?" Hawkeye said sadly, overseeing his clan.

"They'd think us fools, that's what," said Sagethroat. "Believe me, I know! They've told me in several visions."

Cottonstar groaned. "We've gotta shape these cats up. Make them real warriors. Get their minds off their cell phones for at least five minutes!"

"And how do you suppose we do that?" asked Mothflight, flicking her tail thoughtfully. "There has to be a way to make them see how foolish they are."

"We could burn their phones!" Squirrelthroat suggested eagerly. He seemed a little too excited.

"Yeah, that's never going to work…" sighed Hawkeye. "How do we even start the fire? It's not like we can light a match; we don't have thumbs."

"I guess we could google how to," suggested Sagethroat.

"Or how about we throw them all INTO A FIERY PIT OF DEATH?!" Cottonstar suddenly exclaimed. "LET THEIR STAR CLAN ANCESTORS DEAL WITH THEM! Clan dismissed. I'm done. Just let them play their STUPID Fortnite and rot their brains."

"Really?" chirped Sootpaw, overhearing his leader's shouts.

"Gee, thanks, Cottonstar!" Willowpaw said happily.

"Ugh," groaned Cottonstar, touching a paw to his head. "I think I have a headache. Sagethroat, do you have some herbs that can help with that?"

"Sure!" the medicine cat said. "Um...just let me google which herbs while we walk to the den…"

"I'm going to think of another plan to return humanity to this clan!" Squirrelthroat exclaimed. "Something with fireworks…"

Hawkeye and Mothflight watched the cats wander off.

"So...what do we do now?" the deputy asked uncertainly.

Mothflight sighed. "Well, you know what they say: If you can't beat 'em, join 'em!"

So she and Hawkeye whipped out their phones and started playing a new game of Fortnite.

**If you thought it was funny, let me know! **


	2. Latrineclan (Or, Starclan Gets Bored)

Firestar gazed down from Starclan towards his earthly home in the forest. He clucked his tongue disappointedly as Yellowfang walked to his side. "Stupid cats," he muttered. "Don't even hunt anymore. Just order delivery pizza and Happy Meals from McDonald's."

"Don't you think it's about time we do something about it?" Yellowfang asked. She grimaced as she watched Dawnfire squeal when she reached a thousand followers on Facebook. "I mean, I admit that iced coffee at McDonald's is good, but what happened to the unity of this clan? Now they're stuck on their phones all day, playing video games and trying to get followers."

"I know," Firestar said thoughtfully. "We need to do _something_—something to stir them up—but what?"

"Well, in the olden days a good, classic thunderstorm would spook em," Yellowfang replied with a snort. "But that's not gonna work _now_."

"Yeah…" Firestar watched as Fartcloud wandered through the clan. The apprentices guffawed behind her back, posting another meme about her. It seemed that the whole clan was laughing at her ridiculous name. _Can I really blame them? _he thought. _Fartcloud really is ridiculous... Who the heck was the genius who named her? _"Wait a second...I've got it!"

Firestar's tail flicked excitedly as he whispered his idea to Yellowfang.

"Great!" she said, her eyes twinkling excitedly. "I've been getting bored! It'll be worth it to see the look on their faces."

"Yes, it's perfect," Firestar said with a mischievous grin. "Now we just need to get our paws on a couple of spare phones…"

A couple of days later, Willowpaw was in the apprentice den watching a Grumpy Cat video on Youtube. Suddenly an annoying ad popped up, a really long one. He was just about to skip it—when he realized what exactly the ad was about:

"Attention all clans of the forest! This is Starclan news," announced a cat-reporter. She had matted black fur and her orange eyes were startling bright. "There seems to be a new clan joining our territory: Latrineclan, led by Toiletstar, a fine and paper-white she-cat. Their deputy, Maggottail, gave us an interview about this new and growing society."

At that, a dark brown cat with a strangely moss-green tail appeared on the screen. "Yes, we are hoping to become a permanent addition to the forest," he said to the camera with a toothy grin. "Our medicine cat, Mudpuddle, has been recruiting new cats. We expect to increasingly grow in our numbers over the next few days before we officially move in."

The announcer returned on the screen. "Let's see what a few of their apprentices have to say about life in Latrineclan."

A small, gray tom cat and a yellow she-cat appeared.

"Life is just like any other clan, wouldn't you say, Mucuspaw?" the gray apprentice asked the orange cat.

"Oh, yes, Gurglepaw. Toiletstar keeps an orderly clan. Our mother, Crustyface, is kept busy every day taking care of her kits."

"And Constipatedbelly is always watching for intruders," added Gurglepaw. "It's thanks to all of them that we stay safe!"

The announcer returned. "Thanks for watching Starclan news," she said with a smile. "This has been 'Latrineclan's Arrival.' I hope you support this clan while they settle their way into the forest. And I hope everyone will give Toiletstar a big, warm welcoming when they move in next week on Monday! Thanks for watching, and may Starclan bless you."

Then the ad ended.

And Willowpaw went silent.

The next morning, Cottonstar woke up in his den with yet another throbbing headache. Every blink of his eye caused jolts of pain to bounce around in his head. He sighed and sank back onto his bedding, trying to relax in the fresh morning air…

When all of a sudden a large group of cats crowed over his den's entrance, their whiskers quivering excitedly.

"What the…" the leader muttered, trying to rub the tiredness from his eyes. "What's going on? Did someone invade our clan?"

Hawkeye stepped forward from the crowd. "Um...no… It's a new clan."

"What?!"

"Here, just...watch this."

Hawkeye handed Cottonstar his phone, where the ad about Latrineclan was ready to play. After Cottonstar had watched it, he grew silent.

"What—the—dickens?" the leader murmured, his eyes wide in shock. "Is...is this real?"

"It must be," Hawkeye replied, taking his phone back, "because they TP-ed the whole woods,"

"WHAT?"

The crowd of cats separated as Cottonstar stepped out of his den to examine the TP-ed forest. Every tree was snow white with toilet paper; even the branches had been wrapped. One particularly long strip of paper stretched across the whole clan like a banner. Written on it with mud was 'Latrineclan.'

Cottonstar stood there for a moment, blending into the whiteness, his mouth gaping open. Then he collapsed to the ground, unconscious.

Up in the sky, Firestar and Yellowfang snickered.

"This is pretty entertaining so far, isn't it?" said Yellowfang, her eyes glowing excitedly.

"Definitely," Firestar replied as he texted the local cat Warrior grocery store. "Now it's time for phase two."

After the ad appeared, there was terror everywhere in Thunderclan.

On Thursday the ground was covered in Whoopee cushions. Every cat had to walk carefully to avoid making a loud, farting sound. On Friday the forest was pelted with raw eggs. No cat could go out without getting broken egg shells and slimy yolk all over their fur. On Saturday the ground was wrapped in duck tape, which mixed with egg yolk made a very slippery floor to walk on.

On Sunday, the day before Latrineclan was supposed to move into the forest, a loud thunderstorm occurred. Wet toilet paper, muddy whoopee cushions, crushed eggshells, and duck tape were everywhere. Thunderclan was exhausted by the attacks from Latrineclan, and Cottonstar's headache hurt more than ever.

Rabbitleap, sick of playing Fortnite stuck inside her den, decided to text Fartcloud about the strange events that had occurred.

{**FurryFiter **has joined the chat}

**FurryFiter: **hey, Fartcloud? u there?

{**OMFartness **has joined the chat}

**OMFartiness: **wut? is there another meme bout my name?

**FurryFiter: **no just wanna talk

**OMFartiness: **oh. bout what?

**FurryFiter: **um...Latrineclan

**OMFartiness: **oh, yes, don't they sound great? i bet Maggottail is a dreamboat

**FurryFiter: **wuuuuut?

**OMFartiness: **well, it's kinda nice 2 have other cats with names like Fartcloud

**FurryFiter: **oh

**OMFartiness: **it's weird to have them TP us tho

**FurryFiter: **ya… um gtg. kits calling me

{**FurryFiter **has left the chat}

**OMFartness: **um...ok

{**OMFartness **has left the chat}

_Now, when does Rabbitleap ever care about her kits?_ Fartcloud thought. _Oh well. Maybe it's an improvement. _

That night Sagethroat was deep in sleep, dreaming about winning a Mario Kart race against Dappleheart...when a vision interrupted her victory.

Out of a yellow and orange haze appeared the great Firestar and Yellowfang.

"Oh, thank Starclan!" Sagethroat exclaimed. "Firestar, Yellowfang, have you come to tell us about Latrineclan?"

"Uh...yes!" Yellowfang proclaimed. "Yes...that Latrineclan, they're, um...um…_very_ dangerous! Yes! We must flee the woods until they leave! And...and…" Firestar gave her a look. "Um… Oh, alright! We did it!"

Sagethroat gave her a look. "What?"

"We made up Latrineclan," Firestar admitted.

"'Cause we were bored," Yellowfang said with a grin. "You cats are so gullible."

"WHAT?"

"It's okay, don't freak out!" Firestar said. "Yellowfang, that was _harsh_!"

"Well you wanted them to know the truth, didn't you?" Yellowfang said with a scowl. "There you have it. The _truth_."

Sagethroat was stunned. "So...so none of this is true? That ad...the TP message… that website? Nothing?"

"Wait, a website?" Firestar asked. "We never created that!"

"Cats will do anything to get a popular website going," Yellowfang explained. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'd like to get some iced coffee at McDonald's. Bye!"

In a rush of white clouds, she disappeared from the vision.

"Um...um, I'd better go…" Firestar said.

He disappeared too.

From up in Starclan, the twosome watched as Sagethroat repeated to her clan what they'd told her. Cottonstar, upon hearing her, immediately collapsed into another faint. The other cats stood in shock, except Fartcloud, who cried, "I wanted Latrineclan to be reeeeeeeeeeeeeeal!"

"Wow," Yellowfang said, slurping her iced coffee. "This is the most fun I've had in eons! Great entertainment. We _have _to do this again."

"Oh, for sure," Firestar said with a smile. "We'll do something else. But we'll have to wait until they aren't prepared for it."

**Tell me if you thought it was funny in the reviews! :3**


	3. The Movie Night

{**Willower** has joined the chat}

**Willower**: hey fellow apprentices

U wanna have a movie nite?

{**Thistlest** has joined the chat}

{**Sootfici** has joined the chat}

**Thistlest**: wut movie r we watchin Willowpaw?

**Sootfici**: ya?

**Willowe**r: Revenge of the Twoleg, horror movie

new on Netflix

Dawnfire reccomended it

{**SilverBorn** has joined the chat}

**SilverBorn:** haven't watched that one

**Thistlest:** Me either Silverpaw

**Willower**: Me 2

**Sootfici**: i did a long time ago

don't remember it

**Thistlest:** Sootpaw do u think it was scary?

**Sootfici**: maaaaaybeeee…?

dunno

**Willower**: well meet at apprentice den 9:00 pm if u wanna be spooked

**Thistest:** ok

**Sootfici**: i'll b there

**SilverBorn:** kewl beans, can't wait 2 see it

Willowpaw smiled as one by one they all left the chat.

This is gonna be epic! he thought. My first horror movie!

Thistlepaw, Sootpaw, and Silverpaw were all stuck border patrolling (or, at least, pretending to border patrol; they were really walking around playing Fortnite), so it was up to Willowpaw to get the den ready for movie night. He'd need his phone (duh), a buttload of snacks, four blankets, and some kind of projector. His small phone screen would never be big enough for all four apprentices to watch the movie at the same time!

Oh, and maybe he needed Cottonstar's permission to trash the apprentice den and stay up late watching a horror movie...but, like, who cared about that?

To start out, the snacks. Willowpaw pulled up Target's website on his phone.

"Now let's see…" he murmured to himself. "Should I get two bags of popcorn or three? ...Sootpaw's pretty greedy about popcorn, soooo three bags it is! Five packages of cheese puffs, my favorite. Hmm, Reese's Pieces or M n Ms? Why not both? And definitely four bottles of Orange Crush. We're gonna need a lot of that stuff to wash down all the junk we're gonna eat."

It cost him almost all his allowance to buy the snacks (not to mention the shipping)...but it was worth it. Getting sugar high is always worth it, he thought with a mischevious grin. And now for a projector.

Willowpaw searched on Wikihow how to make a movie projector. It just took some DIY skill and everyday supplies to complete; nothing major. Not that it looked like much, but it was nothing that a little paint couldn't fix. And while he was working on it, the snacks arrived. Yes! he thought as he arranged the snacks on the apprentice den floor. Now the den is looking movie-ready. I just need to set up the projector.

But as Willowpaw was setting it up, his mother walked right into him.

"Whatcha doing?" Rabbitleap asked, barely looking up from her phone.

"Oh, stuff…" he said, trying to hide the projector underneath his bedding. "Y'know, I was just, um, cleaning the den. I wanted it to be nice for the other apprentices. It's a surprise."

"That's nice," his mother replied, her eyes stilled glued to her phone screen. "OMSC, you won't believe what Dawnfire just said about me on Facebook! I am so over her. She's such a hater!"

Flicking her tail angrily, Rabbitleap stalked out of the apprentice den.

Whew, Willowpaw thought.

He finished setting up the projector, then whipped out his phone to check the time: 8:30 pm. Just enough time to set out the blankets and microwave the popcorn.

In fact, he had just popped the last package of popcorn and poured it into a bowl when the first apprentice arrived: Thistlepaw.

"Hello sis," Willowpaw greeted her as she padded inside.

"Wus up, bro?" she responded, looking around the den. "Wow! It looks pretty dope in here. I hope Sootpaw and Silverpaw get here soon, 'cause I'm gonna chow down on all the snacks if they don't."

"How dare you!" Silverpaw gasped, as she and Sootpaw walked in.

"Hullo," Sootpaw said. "Where's the popcorn?"

"Welcome to the theatre," Willowpaw said with a grin. "Here's your complimentary bowl of popcorn. Now please take a seat and get ready to be spooked."

As the apprentices grabbed some snacks and settled onto the blankets, Willowpaw took out his phone and tried to open up Netflix. But it wouldn't work.

"Oh, shoot!" he muttered. "I have really bad connection down here. Um, does anyone know the Wifi password for Thunderclan?"

"It's 'Cottonstar,' I think," Silverpaw said.

"Okay, yeah, it worked," he said after he'd typed it in. "Prepare to be spooked!" He laid down next to his friends just as the movie began to play.

"The first one to scream owes the other apprentices a can of Dr. Pepper!" Sootpaw exclaimed.

"You're on!" Thistlepaw said, and she turned to the movie. "Wow, that Twoleg is nasty!" she observed. "Just look at him! Why the heck is he wearing a collar?"

"That's a tie, you dumbo!" Sootpaw said.

"Oh."

"Oh no, the Twoleg has a dog!" Silverpaw wailed. "And it's eating the cats! I can't watch."

"Oh, that's not even the worst part," Sootpaw said grimly. "Wait until—"

"No spoilers, please," Thistlepaw interrupted.

"Guys, just be quiet?" Willowpaw said, slightly irritated.

"Sorry," they muttered, and quieted down.

But just a couple moments later the prom dance part of the movie came up, and Taylor Swift's hit song 'Shake it Up' blared on the speakers.

"OMSC, I love this song!" Thistlepaw exclaimed, and she started to dance along. "Taylor Swift is the best."

"Shut up, Selena Gomez is way better," Silverpaw contradicted her.

"What? No, her songs are trash!"

"Who you callin' trash?!"

"Guys, would you please just watch the movie?" Willowpaw groaned.

"'Blank Space' is the song to listen to," Thistlepaw ignored him.

"You wish! 'Good for You' is much better," Silverpaw growled.

"In your guys' dreams!" Sootpaw suddenly butted in. "We all know who the best artist is: Elvis Presley!"

"No way," Thistlepaw shook her head. "He's old. And a guy."

"Exactly," Sootpaw replied.

"Guys!" Willowpaw suddenly exclaimed. "Just listen to the movie."

"Sorry," they muttered, and quieted down.

But just a couple moments later the 'date with a girl at a restaurant' part came up, and the Twolegs started slurping a couple of Cokes together.

"Ew! Why are they drinking that?" Sootpaw asked. "Pepsi is much better."

"OMSC, never!" Thistlepaw exclaimed. "Coca Cola for life!"

"You said it, girl," Silverpaw voiced her approval. "Though obviously, Orange Crush is better than both of them."

"Yuck! No," Sootpaw and Thistlepaw shouted.

"Pepsi rocks!" Sootpaw screamed.

"Coca Cola rules!" Thistlepaw tried to scream louder.

"Orange Crush at the top!" Silverpaw screamed even louder.

"GUYS SHUT IT," Willowpaw screamed loudest of all. "JUST WATCH THE MOVIE."

"Sorry," they muttered, and quieted down.

But just a couple of moments later the main character Twoleg started playing basketball with his crush.

"Oh yeah!" Thistlepaw said. "Basketball is the best sport ever."

"Naw, soccer is way better!" Silverpaw exclaimed.

"No, no, no! Football is the best!" Sootpaw told them. "And the Dallas Cowboys are the greatest team."

"No, the New England Patriots are!" Silverpaw wailed.

"You're both wrong! The New York Giants are the best," Thistlepaw shouted.

"AAAAAAAUGH," Willowpaw screamed.

"Sorry," they muttered, and quieted down.

But just a couple moments later the worst part happened: The monster above all monsters, the cream of the crop, the beast that would haunt the apprentices' dreams forever after, appeared on the screen. Its grinding teeth and piercing growl made every feline tremble.

"It's a…" stammered Silverpaw.

"It's a…" Sootpaw stuttered.

"I-I-It's a…" Thistlepaw said shakily.

"IT'S A LAWN MOWER!" Willowpaw shrieked.

All four apprentices screamed at the top of their lungs, "AAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!"

"WHAT THE DEVIL IS GOING ON?" Cottonstar shouted, as he and what seemed to be all of Thunderclan burst into the apprentice den.

"AAAUGH IT'S A TWOLEG!" Almondstripe shrieked, staring at the movie screen.

"No...it's a movie," Hawkeye said grumpily. He and the other felines looked angry —and exhausted.

"What are you crazy apprentices doing watching a movie at 11:00 at night?!" Cottonstar exclaimed. "There's no excuse for keeping the whole clan up!"

"It was Willowpaw's idea!" Thistlepaw, Sootpaw, and Silverpaw said, pointing at him.

Willowpaw's mouth gaped open. "Wait, what? Hey, you were the guys that agreed to it!"

But Cottonstar was turning to him. "Willowpaw, you are in very deep trouble. No phone privileges! You are going to stay in this apprentice den cleaning until you repent of your deed."

"But—but—"

All the cats left.

The next day Willowpaw sat grouchily in the apprentice den, scrubbing the walls and sweeping up all the snack crumbs, while the other apprentices went pretend-border patroling. That's the last time I'm hosting a movie night, he thought fiercely. And that's the last time I talk to Thistlepaw, Sootpaw, and Silverpaw ever again!


	4. DIS IS FOR ALL YOU KITTYPETS

As soon as her owner brushed his teeth, put on his PJs, and went to bed, Maisy crept up to his computer and logged in. She hadn't been able to check the neighborhood group chat for 2 days because her stupid owner kept staying up all night playing video games (she couldn't get on the computer during the day because...well...she was a cat). Luckily his parents found out and took away his computer privileges for a week, meaning the computer was all Maisy's.

As soon as she clicked on the chat, it was complete chaos! Apparently two kittens had gotten into an argument of what was 'memier': Shrek or Doge? Ugh. How immature. Why had Maisy ever joined this chat in the first place?

As if reading her mind, there was a sudden ding on the computer: An invitation to another chat, called "DIS IS FOR ALL YOU KITTYPETS." Kittypets? What was kittypets? A kitty that was a pet? Maisy scoffed. Cats were so ridiculous, trying to create a fad just to gain fame. Nonetheless, this "kittypet" chat seemed far more interesting than her neighborhood one, so she accepted.

{**Amaisyness** has joined the chat}

**Dominator: **hey, maisey! Kewl, u joined

**Amaisyness: **hi domino. ha, yeah! who else is on?

**Vienita: **hola!

**Toby-Chic: **hey

**Cotton-e: **who created this chat?

That was a good question. Maisey didn't know anyone that said slang such as "kittypet." Not even on the Internet! She had no idea.

**Amaisyness: **idk

{**Willower **has joined the chat}

{**Thistlest **has joined the chat}

{**Sootfici **has joined the chat}

**Willower: **cool, it worked

**Thistlest: **ya

**Sootfici: **wait wheres silverpaw?

{**SilverBorn **has joined the chat}

**SilverBorn: **here i am!

**Willower: **great. now we can start

Maisy wrinkled her nose. What? Start _what_? And that cat's name was Silverpaw? Who had a name like that?

**Cotton-e: **okay like who are you guys? me, domino, maisy, vienna and toby know each other. But who are u?

**Toby-Chic: **yaaaasssss explain!

**Thistlest: **shhhhh people! willowpaw will explain.

Maisy frowned. This chat sucked. No one knew what this was about. Anything was better than this—even debating about Shrek and Doggos! She was about to go play Roblox instead when a message popped up next to Willower's name:

**Willower: **attention ye flabby, lazy, furry lumps known as kittypets: join thunderclan, the greatest clan in the forest and on the Internet, or die! enlist now at this link wwwjointhunderclannow!

There was a long silence on the chat. Then,

**Vienita: **wuts a kittypet?

**Dominator: **wait isn't thunderclan the place that invented toilet clan?!

**Cotton-e: **lol ya i think so!

Maisy laughed.

**Amaisyness: **TOILET CLAN? how could a toilet have a clan?

**Willower: **WHAT? no we did not invent toilet clan! that was star clan!

**Dominator: **lol! even more ridiculous, a star that has a clan!

Suddenly Maisy had an idea.

**Amaisyness: **oh wait! is this like a rp thing? is thunderclan a rp?

**Sootfici: **what? NOOOO! it's not a rp!

**Silverborn: **it's a real place!

**Thistlest: **in the woods where wild, free cats live

Oh yeah! Maisy _had_ heard of some cats that roamed free in the forest, and apparently they were a real annoyance to her owners, scaring people off. Why anyone would want to live in a damp, cold woods, forced to hunt for their own food Maisy couldn't understand. Plus they were missing out on delivery pizza! Maisy would die for delivery pizza.

**Willower: **you kittypets are so soft living with Twolegs!

**Vienita: **twolegs? you mean the humans?

**Cotton-e: **the humans are pretty cool. sometimes they give me salmon

Maisy gasped.

**Amaisyness: **really cotton? I can't believe it rn! my owner NEVER gives me salmon!

**Toby-Chic: **ditto

**Dominator: **sometimes they give me salmon

**Vienita: **lucky! :( :(

**Thistlest: **ugggh what's the point willowpaw? they wont listen

**Sootfici: **ya let's go

{**Thistlest** has left the chat}

{**Sootfici** has left the chat}

**Silverborn: **maybe later willowpaw

{**Silverborn **has left the chat}

**Willower: **UUUUUGGGH FIIIINE!

{**Willower **has left the chat}

**Dominator: **sooooooo now that they're gone...

U guys wanna play Roblox together?

**Toby-Chic: **sure!

Maisy smiled.

**Amaisyness: **ya sure let's do cops n robbers! bet i can rob more money than u

**Vienita: **bet not!

Maisy grinned mischievously. It had been fun meeting those strange outdoor cats. But now it was game on!


End file.
